Stray Human

by Chris Spirit Brown

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1.
Three months of melting snow Memories under gray clouds An ache I can’t shake off Sinking on the inside Uncomfortable, uneasy Counting up my faults Follow me out the door For a drive into the dawn To occupy my mind Alone and aggressive Pent up within pride Trapped on my own Winding across the winter road (Slipping on ice and speeding on) Can’t stop once my mind says go (Passing signs and skipping towns) The rage and regret Let them out and throw it all To the pale sunrise The highway twists and turns The axles creak, the tires wear Pull over, stand outside Abandoned convenience store Rotting wood and faded logo A lost landmark I’ll claim as mine Remember this moment forever Take it to carry and keep The darkness, the pain, the anger Bury them in shadows and sleep Winding across the winter road (Slipping on ice and speeding on) Can’t stop once my mind says go (Passing signs and skipping towns) The rage and regret Let it out and throw it all To the pale sunrise
2.
A Dark Place 03:28
I made myself a little place to hide Small spot hidden out of sight Be a ghost in my own life In this shelter born from grief No light, just noise There’s way too much you'd never want to see Damp to dry Bury yourself alive Keep in control A room to cure the soul Step by step by step Step slowly away If you can wait I beg you to stay I’m sorry I'm so gone I'll return I swear All I need is a little bit of time To diagnose what’s behind my eyes How must I justify that to you The only wish I have To hear that I am heard That it’s the way I make it out to be for me Find me here Silent, sad self-care Tell me to move on Like everyone else Step by step by step Step out of the dark If you can wait I beg you to stay I’m sorry I'm so gone I'll return I swear
3.
It’s been a long way I haven’t slept in days But I'm here at your door Weeks that seemed like years Too many untold tears No need for them anymore With you again Like time never passed Never lose this Never lose this One journey ends Another starts anew Clean slate, clear sight One chapter’s done Let’s fill these pages now What shall we write New place, new path Wondering where to next At your side, at your side (At your side) All set, ready and eager To create this adventure About a world so wide With you right here I don’t want to go Never lose this Never lose this One journey ends Another starts anew Clean slate, clear sight One chapter’s done Let’s fill these pages now What shall we write Moving, moving, moving where to Moving, moving, moving with you
4.
Heavenly tragedy Unfamiliar hands Out-of-body bleeding Floating up to where I stand Almost touched the stars Not a scar in sight Reaching with reluctance To an open mouth so bright Closer to the light I slip away From a world calling me to stay Pulled and pushing back, it's getting late Separated, stalling, on my way I would have thought that I was coming home Back to the start, to a life I'd own Nothing's changed yet everything Makes even less sense Like I live in a lucid dream Such a time and place to be alive Every day to be framed by one night Closer to the light I slip away From a world calling me to stay Pulled and pushing back, it's getting late Separated, stalling, on my way I would have thought that I was coming home Back to the start, to a life I'd own Nothing's changed yet everything Makes even less sense Like I live in a lucid dream Near death, far removed from life Near death, far removed from life Near death, far removed from life Near death, far removed from life I would have thought that I was coming home Back to the start, to a life I'd own Everything makes even less sense Like I live in a lucid dream
5.
Reinvent 02:44
New day, nothing much has changed Since the only light went out It’s an opportunity To simply stop looking Forget anything that’s lost Be a friend to yourself Reinvent (gotta give up all that’s gone) Reinvent (gonna feel the sun again) Reinvent New night, moon shines through the cage Spotlight of inspiration The key is on the floor The choice to pick it up Isn’t always easy But it’s always yours Reinvent (gotta give up all that’s gone) Reinvent (gonna feel the sun again) Reinvent Gonna give up all that's gone Gonna feel the sun again The key is on the floor Be a friend to yourself
6.
The angel hit the ground Face first and didn’t make a sound Invisible to the naked eye No one heard her falling from the sky Stomping on her wings (stomping on her wings) Everybody was doing their own thing She got up and got over Being something she thought she had to be Now she’s free Free from flight Now the lights have been turned off She can rest The devil came to town And brought a briefcase filled with bombs Detonating everything in sight The terror coloring the night Everybody screamed (everybody screamed) Everybody wept, their tears a sea Their eyes closed, their minds opened Looking to the ground for relief But she’s gone Out of sight She cannot remember A past that had died Hurting world Far away Now that she has found a home Of only peaceful days
7.
Luna 01:30
The malachite Shines in my eyes Makes me the luckiest In my reflection The timeline Of my whole life You were here A rock in a stream You make me the luckiest The safest, the strongest The most myself You’re a soul sitting with my own
8.
Midwest Song 02:48
Alright then As the river floats away I can feel the heat coming It burns the tears away At the thought of what I’m missing With a wind of change And a stream of craze Not a coast in sight to see Could be a plain or a town Or a city Or a forest Or a cave Or maybe even home As the river floats away I feel the rain coming It washes out my face And lets me see clearly That there’s a snow to stay Until it melts away Not a coast in sight to see Could be a plain or a town Or a city Or a forest Or a cave Or maybe even home
9.
Untitled 02:03
I appreciate the friend you are You’ve been many things to me A companion, a collaborator You’re my family I listen to your stories And I tell you mine I have seen your journey And I see you try And you succeed Time and time again Because you live with passion You’re a man of character You survive it all You go down those paths They will join with your voice In the days and years ahead
10.
So I’m kind of scared of change Even that which I see coming Even when life’s not kind to me Everything I’ve ever known Sits right here unmoving I want to pick it up to bring along But it doesn’t want to go And so I leave that path behind Under rocks and leaves and distance And so I follow all the signs Toward an unknown destination I’m not sure where Or how much better it will be But what I know now Feels just right So I’m very scared of change Even when I see just what to do Even when I take that first step I’m still looking back for you But now I leave that path behind Under rocks and leaves and distance And so I follow all the signs Towards an unknown destination I’m not sure where Or how much better it will be But what I know now Feels just right
11.
Stray Human 02:52
12.
The End 04:00
Shedding off a graceful skin Seeping down to where you stand Promising to lead you from Days of waiting for Recovery, they're done Offer me a room to rest I'll return you to your health You may speak and give release Though you won't, you'll let me be Our souls, the same Strange prices For your head Marked around the town In bright blood red Take each sacred step I give Follow through, you'll have no debt Rinse the sleeper, drown it full I can close your eyes for you And bless your dream Full facade, I take it out Looking for the tender spot Feel no hurt in heaven's breadth Rejoicing with nothing there To come again Strange prices For your head Marked around the town In bright blood red Does your heart believe In that good, pure light Or do you remain Hardened, stiff, and dry Take each sacred step I give Follow through, you'll have no debt Rinse the sleeper, drown it full I can close your eyes Strange prices For your head Marked around the town In bright blood red Were you aware How I needed you From your withered form To make anew Does your heart believe In that good, pure light Or do you remain Hardened, stiff, and dry

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For Dad

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released September 2, 2022

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Chris Spirit Brown St. Louis, Missouri

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